Britain's Choice

One month to go for the elections in Britain, and the newspapers united have written off Gordon Brown. The verdict is unanimous: He is too grey, too serious and too unsexy to lead us for next five years. They are saying - spare the horrors, please - the whole newspaper industry will fold if they have to live with Brown for another term.

David Cameron, in more than one sense, will be better. Because he looks better, to start with. Besides, he says a lot, without giving out much, which bodes well for newspapers, which can then analyze and fill the columns. He may be a touch less interesting than Nick Clegg, and may not have the Lib-Dem leader's army of lovers, but he is more plausible.

The public seems to agree. Enough of labour rule, had we not? Brown can't escape the blame for everything that is wrong in our lives, including the fact that most footballers cheat on their wives and most new chart toppers are atrocious. He is clueless about what happens next in our lives, never mind that not even we know. He seems perfect for a whipping boy, for all our failures.

In short, we have a choice: On one hand, we have a serious, know-it-all man, who seems so last century; on the other, we have someone with a vacuous pomposity which attempts to give the impression of understanding without meaning. Yes, that's sort of next century, and next generation. Unfortunately, we are falling in between.

We can take a cue from our cousins. They chose George Bush when faced with a similar choice. Between the unintelligible and the uninteresting, the unintelligible is better; because we should always know that we don't understand much anyway. We are babies, after all. We need soothing, not teaching. But, uninteresting in this TV age is no-no. We don't want old Premiers any more.

We fear the future; we have to. It looks very difficult. We haven't seen the last of this recession. The world looks dangerous. There are wars on, and at the last count, we are still losing, or, winning at a great cost. Whoever we choose, will have decisions to make. But, we must believe in a superhero, who makes great decisions when presented with clear choices; never mind that we don't have any clear choices in our lives anymore. So, fear, lack of control in our own lives, let us prompt to choose entertainment for politics, and vice versa.

We should vote for Cameron.


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